WTF Moments

  • I was with a girl back at her place starting getting playful. She starts tickling me. I wet myself.
  • When out drinking with friends, one got too drunk and had to throw up, as she ran to the bathroom, she bumped into me, covered her mouth with her hand, and her puke sprayed through her fingers all over my face.
  • My wife of 5 years and mother of my two children left me for our female babysitter that she has known for a month.
  • There was this girl I knew in high school. I saw her just recently while shopping with my baby. We talked for a bit and I noticed she had a baby belly so I asked how far along she was. She wasn’t pregnant, she said it was weight gain.
  • Today, I spoke to a fellow student about how much of a bitch one of our teachers was and how much I disliked her. Turned out it was his mother.
  • Once I shot myself in the eye with a Roman candle on my birthday. When I turned it away from myself to hold my face, I started a fire.
  • Last summer I went traveling abroad and arranged a date with a fellow traveler. We planned on having sex (my first time!), but on the way over I got hit by a motorcycle.
  • Last week while walking down the stairs the girl I was with panicked cause she saw a flying insect, jumped onto my shoulders and knocked me off the stairs. I feel on my face, busted my chin and had to get it stitched. I can barely talk or eat anything because of the pain.
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