My Wife is Not The Same Woman That I Married

Matt Walsh does it again on his blog. This time he discussed divorce and how he will never get one. He starts off saying how disappointed he is that people celebrate divorce with a party. Divorce is justified, advertised, celebrated, and then expected to be celebrated by everyone. He describes his relationship with his wife.

We’ve been married for almost three years. We’ve had two kids. We’ve moved twice. We’ve driven across Maryland, West Virginia, and Kentucky with two screaming babies — five times. We’ve worried about money. We’ve struggled to pay the bills. We’ve had our laughs, our joys, our fights, our failures, our triumphs. We’ve weathered our share of storms. We’ve dealt with family drama. We’ve had a flooded house. We’ve had two kids sick in the emergency room. We’ve been angry, we’ve been happy, we’ve been tired. We’ve made mistakes. We’ve come to understandings. We’ve failed to come to understandings. We’ve been on Cloud Nine and we’ve been at our wit’s end. We’ve cried. We’ve lost. We’ve won.

We’re still young and we’re still growing, and our experiences might very well pale in comparison to yours, but I have learned at least one thing from all of this: that guy was right — my wife isn’t the same person that I married. When I met her she was a 22-year-old college student. Now she’s a 27-year-old mother of two. Sure she still has the same DNA, the same biological identity, and she’s still the kind of girl who can appreciate a good beer and a fart joke. But she’s not the same. That’s because I married a human being, not a mannequin. I said my vows to a person, not a computer program.

Matt Walsh goes on to say that people always change. So to say that you got divorced because your significant other changed is ridiculous. You should have expected change. It is not the change that causes the divorce, but the fact that they changed in a way that does not fit inside your comfort zone.

It’s hard, I know. She’s not the same as she was when I married her, but that’s OK because I didn’t marry “the person she was.” I married her — Alissa, the woman, the being, the body and soul. I married the totality of her, which means I married her changes, not just that one, single, momentary version of her that walked down the aisle in that church in Ocean City three years ago.

It is easy to write and say you will do something, but is harder to actually live. Therefore you should only listen to those who are inspiring you to keep going rather than those criticizing your relationship. Hopefully we will be able to look back on life and not see that we chose to love who we say.

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